Am I an imposter?

 Do you ever feel like an imposter? I know I do. I quite often question my own abilities and downplay my successes. I know my own competencies and can see when I have achieved something but that doubt quite often rears its ugly head. I know I am not the only person who has this experience but why do we have this self doubt?

Imposter syndrome can happen for loads of different reasons, you might be new to something whether it be a job role, a new parent, taking up a new hobby, the list goes on. You may feel that you are just not good enough compared to others even though the evidence shows otherwise. This feeling can come and go and it is a good idea to reframe your thoughts. Ask yourself why you feel this way? Is there an alternative way to think about it? How is it helping or hindering you? It's trying to have that self belief in yourself.

Easier said than done I know and I don't always do it myself. I'm a hypocrite. But from looking at imposter syndrome I think I try to be the best at everything that I do, the best counsellor, the best mother, the best daughter. But I can't be the best at everything and that's ok. It doesn't make us an imposter.

Remember that you are good enough!

Inside Out - The Game Of Emotions

 Hi, Just me again! Two days running who'd have thought it.

So, I bought a game to use with my younger clients to look at the different emotions that we might experience. I decided to use my own kids as guineapigs. What it did tell me is that we are a very angry family because that was the main emotion expressed the whole time that we played. 

What playing that game did make me reflect on though was the amount of different feelings and emotions that I was experiencing on starting out on my own, trying to build a client base. Firstly, I felt excited. I have spent a lot of time learning and this was my ultimate goal. I want to succeed. But then there was the feeling of guilt. Even before qualifying as a Counsellor I was given a great opportunity by two lovely ladies who gave me the chance to work alongside them. One of which I still work with today. I felt guilty that I wanted to try doing this myself.

This moved on to feelings of anxiety. I've always been a worrier, I might even say I worry if I'm not worried. But I felt anxious for a million reasons, firstly the anxiety of telling my boss that I was going private. Which after telling her was a complete waste of time worrying about.

Then there were all the "what ifs?". What if I don't get any clients? What if I'm not a good enough counsellor? What if no-one follows me on Facebook? The anxiety of trying to sell myself and the embarrassment that I might fall flat on my face and fail. 

All of these "what ifs?". "So, what?", that's what I might say to clients when they ask the same questions. So, I've came to the conclusion, I can't really control any of this. What will be will be and at least I can say I've tried.

So there you go, playing a board game has made me reflect on the different feelings that I have experienced. Like I said in my 1st post, I've
made myself vulnerable and by doing so I hope you would feel able to make yourself vulnerable too. It takes courage.

My First Post

Well this is scary. My first post! 

I have a million questions going on in my mind. What's the point in starting a blog? Will anyone read it? Have I got anything interesting to say? Well I guess we will see.

So I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm Kirby and I'm a Counsellor based in Teesside. I would describe myself as honest and down-to-earth. Because of this I think that it makes me a good counsellor. I'm a real person, I don't make judgements and unless you're a friend or family I won't tell you that you're wrong and give an opinion. I'm not just a Counsellor, I'm a have a million other masks and roles.

I decided to start this blog because I know how hard that it can be to decide to come to counselling. That can be scary. I've been there myself and to be honest I'm having personal therapy myself. So there you go I'm no expert, I need support too. I also started the blog because when coming to counselling you are making yourself vulnerable, so I'm making myself vulnerable too. And in the words of Brene Brown: “Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” So I've got courage and so have you.

I was initially worried that no-one would want to read this, and they mightn't but I've came to the conclusion that "so what?". We can't please everyone and they can scroll on by. But I find it kind of therapeutic even though I don't quite know what I'm going to talk about. So bare with me, it's not going to be perfect, I'm certainly no writer but I do think I have something to say.

*Sigh of relief* First post over.

If you do feel that counselling might be the next step for you, feel free to visit my website https://www.caringconversations.online to find out more about me, along with my contact details.

Thanks